Are You Coffee's B**ch?

Do you perk up like a sunflower rising toward the sun when you drink your morning coffee?  Are you an overall nicer person after the first sip, or two, or three? 

Turns out you’re not alone.  According to the National Coffee Association’s 2013 online survey, about 83 percent of adults who drink coffee in the U.S., the world's biggest consumer of the beverage in the world, feel the same way for one simple reason; they’re coffee’s bitch!

Ever wonder what your coffee thinks of this? If your coffee could talk, the rather snarky, pungent and bitter beverage would say;

“You cannot function or concentrate until I say so.”

“You will not have energy unless I say so.”

“Your muscles will not work, unless I say so.”

“You may not poop, unless I say so!”

Yep. Coffee makes Christian Grey look subservient. It’s no wonder the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders; DSM-5 has coffee withdrawal categorized as a mental disorder. The more coffee you drink, the more enslaved you become and according to DSM-5, the worse your withdrawals will be.

What does coffee say to that?  “I own you!”

Repercussions for not acquiescing to coffee’s demands involve some serious consequences.  According to Caffeine Informer, the top ten consequences include:

  • ·      Headache
  • ·      Sleepiness
  • ·      Irritability
  • ·      Lethargy
  • ·      Constipation
  • ·      The Blues/Depression
  • ·      Muscle stiffness
  • ·      Lack of concentration
  • ·      Flu like symptoms
  • ·      Insomnia

Not surprisingly, the lure of coffee is 100% sensual.  When we think about having a cup we’re filled with arousal and a feeling of comfort and warmth. Coffee's very scent ignites the flavor imprint on our palate that signals the brain to find the nearest coffee shop or else. 

So, why are we so dependent on coffee? It works like this; the body has an amazing ability to adjust to anything it’s given.  It does this naturally to maintain its health because health is the body’s most natural state.  Anything that threatens the body’s natural state of health is met with the body’s defenses.  Therefore it makes sense that every stimulant you give the body (sugar, salt, alcohol, drugs, caffeine) will be met by your body’s level of tolerance. With continued use, your tolerance level will build, your body will weaken, and you‘ll require more of the preferred substance to get your desired effect. The higher your tolerance, the weaker your body. 

Additionally, caffeine and other stimulants cause neurons in a part of the brain called the 'pleasure center' to release dopamine, bringing out feelings of pleasure and euphoria. This is why many people feel happier after having their coffee.

Here's another truth: Your brain likes coffee but your body does not. In case you were wondering, there’s one simple reason your body quickly eliminates after having coffee; because it wants it out! Coffee, unless disguised by milk and sugar, is offensively bitter and as such, is an irritant to the human system. It also makes your breath stink, stains the teeth and it can be costly, especially if you've got a specialty drink habit.  Coffee also enhances feelings of anxiety. 

But hey, love is blind, right?

The next time you say you’re having coffee correct yourself.  Coffee will be having you. Can't resist this player?  Perhaps then, it's a good idea to listen to your body, since your brain will remain smitten, keeping you in this dependent relationship for the rest of your life.

Find out methods of weaning off coffee here.